Southern Simchas, Part I
Abraham Said to the Almighty, "You want me to do WHAT?"
By David L. Kulbersh, MD
Yes, the Almighty instructed Abraham at the age of 99 to circumcise himself and all of the men in his household, and then all Jewish boys on their 8th day to serve as as a sign of the covenant between the Almighty and Abraham's descendants. And so it began some 3,800 years ago, the tradition of Brit Milah (Hebrew) or a Bris (Yiddish) which means the Covenant of Circumcision.
Now fast forward to current day to Columbia, South Carolina, where a remarkable Jewish community was established in the 1800s and grew to include a Reform Temple, a Conservative Synagogue, a Jewish community center, and an active Chabad community. What is missing? We have never had a real ordained mohel, which is Hebrew for "the circumciser."
As a practicing OB/GYN in Columbia and having performed hundreds if not thousands of non-ritualistic circumcisions, the community called upon me and several other Columbia physicians to step forward and agree to perform the surgical part of the bris on the boys' 8th day while our local Rabbis tended to the spiritual and religious aspects of the tradition.
It was indeed an honor and also a very nerve-racking experience to perform this delicate penile surgery in very poor lighting while sitting on my knees with a sweating and pre-fainting Sondek (often an honored grandfather) pinning the baby's legs down, while the baby screams and the mother weeps, as up to a few hundred folks watch and wonder why I volunteered to do this, usually during my office hours.
Bris of Dylan Bernard Kulbersh with both of his Grandfathers, Dr. David Kulbersh (Paternal) and Dr. Greg Citron (Maternal), Charlotte, N.C., 2016
On a more serious note, it is an honor, and I looked forward to participating in this ancient ritual of the Jewish people. The post-bris food was usually a traditional dairy meal brunch, often with the crowd favorite, nova, bagels, cream cheese, onion and tomato, with a little noodle kugel on the side. Homemade cookies and cakes, including rugelach, and mandel bread was always a hit for dessert.
There were many twists and turns in my experiences.
Bris of Julian Mack Kulbersh with parents Dr. Jonathan and Sarah Kulbersh, Charlotte, N.C, 2014.
One of my deliveries was to a very religious Evangelical Christian couple. They requested, since I was Jewish, if I would wait and circumcise their son on the 8th day as commanded in the Old Testament. I obliged, and on the 8th day, in my office, I was in charge of the entire bris attended by several of their family members and several of my office staff, complete with the Hebrew blessing for the bris, the wine, and the bread and joyous celebration.
A person very dear to me who lives in Columbia had her first grandson born in Long Island and she honored me by asking if I would travel to Long Island to perform the bris with their Rabbi. I was thrilled to be a travelling pseudo-mohel. I gathered the sterile bris kit package with all of the surgical instruments and bandages necessary to do the bris from my hospital.
I had the bris kit in my carry on and as it moved through the screening tunnel, the TSA attendant said, "Do you know you have a scalpel in that package? It is not going on the plane with you. Take it out!" I explained that I could nor remove it because it would destroy the sterile field needed to perform the bris. I asked to please get a supervisor, and after a bit of persuasive conversation, the TSA agreed to accompany me on board and lock the bris kit in the cockpit to be retrieved at the end of the flight.
Bris of Julian Mack Kulbersh with Dr. David Kulbersh, Charlotte, N.C. 2014.
Then there was the time one of our Rabbis was working for months converting a man in his 70s to Judaism. He explained to me the last step in this gentleman's conversion was a bris and since he was already circumcised, he requested that I meet them in his office and simply use a needle and draw a drop of blood from the "you know where" site. Never being great at saying no to help my Rabbi in need, I agreed and it was certainly an experience that I will never forget.
As you might be able to tell, I think that humor is a great medicine. The most frequent question that I was asked by the new Mom was, "Is this going to be painful for my baby? Will he feel it?" I would reassure her I would use some anesthesia and a little Manischewitz wine to get him through. I just could not resist offering more to my answer that went like this, "Well all I can tell you is this. When I had my bris, I could not walk for almost a year!"
David Kulbersh’s secret recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies
Very simple: I use the recipe on the bag of Nestles Semi Sweet Chips with the modifications listed below. My goal is the crunchiest cookie possible.
1. I only use Pelugra Salted Butter (available at most groceries). Let it soften well and do not try to soften in microwave.
2. For a crispier cookie, use 1 cup of regular sugar and 1/2 cup light brown sugar.
3. Use double the amount of imitation vanilla extract (more flavorful).
4. I always add about and additional 1/2 cup of chips than what is called for.
5. I try to make the smallest cookie that I can because guests think they can eat more for less calories?
6. This is the big alteration! Cook at 305 to 310 degrees. The time may vary on your oven and cookie sheets, but bake until cookies turn light brown. You do not want the bottoms to overly brown or the chips to burn. This step has to be just right and may take some practice with your oven.
7. For variation, you can add nuts, butterscotch or peanut butter chips, or other flavors.
8. The kids love a chocolate chip cookie sandwich with vanilla icing as the filling or freeze with ice cream as the filling.
9. Never, ever share this recipe because people will think you are crazy.